Tag: manners

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Culture Food France Healthcare

How ‘Bout Them French?

The Flag of France

As promised, here are some things that I think the French do well. I’m not going to compare one-to-one with how Americans do these things, in case you’re wanting to see something like that, but here goes what are simply my opinions, after living in France for the past 15-1/2 months straight, of some things I think France does well. I’ll post about things I think they do a lousy job of later, so stay tuned.

#1: Health Insurance

Contrary to what you may have heard, health care in France is not free. It is, however, not so expensive that anyone has ever gone bankrupt from developing cancer, for example. That only happens in America, which I guess is “exceptional” in its way. I went to see my doctor to get a prescription the other day. She charged me 26.5 Euros. At the exchange rate as of this writing, that is $29.42. Due to the speed (ha ha) of French bureaucracy, I don’t have my insurance card yet, but the doctor gave me a form to fill out to get my 60% reimbursement. As my income last year was entirely from pension, I don’t pay for the insurance, as they do not tax pensions in any way. For other income, the fee is income based.

#2. Education

The reason you can see a doctor for thirty bucks is because they don’t charge for higher education in France. Come to think of it, what is called “Vocational Education” in the US is also free. (You must buy books and groceries and pay rent, though.) Applied to a medical degree, this means that doctors do not start their career a quarter of a million dollars in debt, so they do not need to charge exorbitant fees to pay that off and still feed their families. Nor do members of any other profession or trade. It’s sort of like the state provides you with some bootstraps to pull yourself up by, if you get my meaning.

#3. Food

Not French style cooking and famous French dishes, which, to be honest, while delicious, seem a bit bland after a while to someone used to living and eating in the Southwest. I brought my own Cholula! I mean that the food is simply of better quality. You can go to any old supermarket and get the sort of quality you’d have to go to Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s to buy in the US, except you don’t pay Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s prices. In fact, most things cost less, at least in our part of France. Thus, whatever you’re eating, even McDonalds (McDo), tastes better. Fast food such as what’s at McDo even looks like the pictures on the menu. M&Ms are mostly not as brightly colored as in the US, nor are any foods, because of stricter rules on additives in food. With fewer additives, no “factory farms” anywhere, and a ban on a number of things that are allowed in the US, the overall quality is enhanced greatly. Yum, I say, yum!

#4. Manners

Somebody is going to read this and comment about how rude the French were to them, or to somebody they know. It happens, usually for one good reason. That person they were rude to did not use good manners on them. Here’s the way, again, to be mannerly in France. a) Say “bonjour” to anyone you’re going to interact with. If in doubt, say “bonjour” anyway. Worst case you’ll embarrass them and they’ll quickly return the greeting. That word has interesting roots, but it just means “hello” to anyone in France. Only exception is to only to say it to one person once in a day. If you meet them again you can say Salut, or even just hello! b) if you need something say s’il vous plait. Never mind how that’s spelled, say “see voo play” and you’ll be close enough. When you get it, say merci. When the interaction is over, the polite thing to say is au revoir, which means until we meet again. Don’t let that put you off. Say it every time. For brownie points, throw in a bonne journée. Say bone journay to get close enough. No one expects you to know French, but using these four words will go a long way toward making your visit pleasant. In fact, most French people strive to help strangers, and I’ve never met anyone who disliked Americans for any reason. (Can’t say the same for Brits, but that’s for another day entirely.) After my first visit to France in 1976, I started greeting shopkeepers and others with “Hello” or at least “Hi how are ya” and was surprised that my life was improved. Americans may not insist on manners, but we appreciate them even if we aren’t aware of the fact. Trust me. You can practice at home right away. Through the speaker at McDonalds, even.

5. Intelligence

Not everybody is gifted, whatever they teach you in M.Ed. school. France knows that, but here they respect intelligence. There is a career path for virtually any profession, including being a government employee. To be in the government, there is a school to help you do that, too. The system isn’t perfect, but at least you know that those who succeed in the democratically elected government have had training, internships and experience that means that they are most likely intelligent, and that they most likely know what they’re doing, even if you disagree with their policies. Same for any profession, really. And trades are not held to be any less intelligent or important than any other choice of career. It sometimes seems as if the U.S. celebrates the stupid, but France never does.

6. Elections

A campaign for president lasts for six weeks, period. Sure, there is posturing and gesturing, especially by an incumbent, but the campaign is short and mercifully sweet. For the Assembly (representatives) the campaign is only a couple of weeks. The only losers I can see are the TV networks that don’t make a fortune off of all those ads. There are also elections for Maire (Mayor) and Departmental Council, also with short campaign seasons. Mayors nominate candidates for President (there are thousands of Mayors) and also elect Senators. There is a lot one could write about French politics, but this is about how they elect the politicians. The posters have a designated place in towns and villages, and they come down shortly after election day. Much easier to take, especially if, like me, you can’t vote here.

There is more I like about France, but I’ll let those five items stand for now. Keep your eyes peeled for my “Things France Does Poorly” issue, coming to a screen near you!

Categories
Culture France

Here is (Maybe) Why

Maybe why the French are so particular about manners, that is. I’ve mentioned before that using “bonjour,” “s’il vous plait,” “merci” and “au revoir” are requirements to be polite in France. Failure to use bonjour in particular can result, in some cases, of you not even being acknowledged as being in the room. In the United States, one can skip politeness to an extent and still be thought fine, polite even. This doesn’t happen in France, and I think I have discovered why this is so.

Looking back a few centuries, France was an absolute monarchy, with nobility running around trying to stay that way, a well-entrenched church taking up the middle tier, and everybody else, whatever their profession or station, mucking about on the bottom. Then came the revolution of 1789, which you’ve probably read about. It got pretty ugly, and not just because of the terror. The revolutionaries invented a new calendar, ran the nobility out of the country (the lucky ones, that is) and also came up with new ways to greet each other. This reminds me of the way the Communists in the Soviet Union were all “comrades.” Sure, they were. Anyway, what with Napoleon, a second republic, a restoration, a second Napoleon (III?) and then into a third republic, a lot of the more nonsensical revolutionary ideas were discarded. For instance, France uses the same calendar as everybody else. But, this still left an open question: if we believe in egalité, (we’re all equal), how do we address one another? Good one, when you think about it.

Well, consider how one would address a noble, should one not be of that class. First, you would wish them “good day.” That was, originally, bon jour. Bon jour still means, technically, “good day,” but nobody uses it for that, because bonjour has meant “hello” for so long that a new term, bon journée, was adapted to mean “have a nice day” or words to that effect. A journée was originally a day trip, such as one might take to a neighboring village to visit the market there. Now French people get to wrestle with the difference between jour and journée. Lucky them. Next, if you want anything from that noble, you say please, which is written s’il vous plait. It sounds more like see voo play, because, well, that’s for another time. When they’ve helped, you say thank you, or merci. And before you part ways, you politely tell them, one way or another, how happy you are to have interacted with a noble, and that is au revoir, which literally means ‘until we see each other again!” You can just say it like “oh vwah” and nobody will complain.

And, there’s more! The word monsieur, taken to mean “mister,” is a compound of mon sieur, which literally means “my lord.” Similarly, madame, or ma’am in the US, is a compound of ma dame, or “my lady.” So when you say Bonjour, madame, you are saying, and this is true, “Good day, my lady!” How’s that for respect?

In short, whereas in the US we decided in favor of everyone being a commoner, in France, they opted for everyone being nobility. It’s as simple as that. If the President of France wants to talk to some poor beggar on the street, they’ll start with a bonjour. That poor beggar is, in spite of appearances, a noble, and deserving of respect. Therefore, one must deliver, and may expect, respectful terms of address in any interaction. If a French person doesn’t receive respect, they won’t be very polite in return.

And there it is. There are exceptions, of course, especially in heavily touristed areas, but in a nutshell, that’s why you always must be respectful of a French person, even a pimply-faced ice-cream vendor. The upside is, that, if you are, you will be respected in return, and undoubtedly enjoy your French vacation a great deal more than you would have other wise.

Categories
France Life

Cool!

This was a restaurant in western Germany in 2016. Maybe it’s still there?

The Canicule has lifted!

And that’s my first peculiarity about France. A heatwave is called a canicule. But, before you give up on that, we (sort of) use the same term in the US. It is the 2000-years later version of caniculare, which is Classicical Latin for “Puppy Days.” Or, I guess, Dog Days. The Romans, most likely of Greek origin themselves according to many sources, took from the Greeks the idea that the reappearance of the Dog Star, Sirius, was responsible for the miserable hot weather common from mid-July through August. In Gaul, it just got to mean any hot miserable weather, and I’m glad it’s over.

Now, for more along the lines of what I had in mind when conceiving this post. France has what they call Hypermarchés. That is, a huge supermarket within a store that sometimes can make a Wal-Mart Superstore look tiny. In those, and other, smaller, supermarkets, when you shop, you will always (always!) have to work your way around employees stocking shelves, or worse, hauling warehouse trucks around piled high with stuff they need to shelve, or empty because they’re going back for more. These stores tend to open at 8 or 9 in the morning, so, naturally, you’d expect that a crew would be coming in at, say, 5 or 6 in the morning to get the place stocked and ready, so that shoppers can find what they’re looking for without fighting employees. Hah! You see, in France, the Customer is Not Always Right! In fact, many times, The Customer is Just In Your Way! Seriously, and this is why you must say bonjour when entering a store, or, in the case of the larger more impersonal ones, to anyone you need to interact with, and certainly to the person who checks you out.

While I’m on stores, you will almost never get anything bagged up for you. If you want it in a bag, you bag it yourself. I’m okay with this, as one can simply put everything back in the cart and wheel it all out to your car, but it can be off-putting at first. If you don’t have any reusable bags, they sell them. I like them. I took one with me to Las Vegas for a year and used it every time I went to the supermarket. I even got a few cents credit for every one of their bags that I didn’t use. The reusable bags can be tough as heck, too, made of jute or hemp, and they last for years. Unless somebody steals one, of course, which is why I now bag as I load the car.

Pharmacies! If it is by any conception some sort of drug, you must buy it at the pharmacy. That goes for Aspirin, Aleve, laxatives, athlete’s foot treatment, and of course prescribed drugs. There are “parapharmacies” that sell vitamins, nutritional supplements, plasters (band-aids) and other non-drug items that you’d normally expect from a supermarket, but if you have a headache, you must go to the pharmacie. They display lit green crosses, so they’re easy to find, and they are everywhere, but to have to go to a pharmacy (spelling deliberate) for ibuprofen? Weird.

Food is food, and in a lot of cases you can buy the same things in France as you can in the US. Except some tasty stuff like good hot sauce, packages of sliced bacon, Heinz Baked Beans (sorry, Who), and pepperoni. In fact, French cooking, while deservedly famous for being well prepared, is remarkably bland for someone used to Southwestern cuisine. If you like some heat in your eggs, bring some sauce with you. I like Cholula.

Primature à droite, that is priority to the right. Many moons ago this was the case in Ohio where I learned to drive, but I doubt that there any intersections left there where it applies. (There could be.) That is, in an unmarked intersection, that is, one with no signage, the vehicle approaching from the right has the right-of-way. This is true even if the intersection is a T-shape. There is a sign in France used to warn you if you’re approaching one. It’s a white triangle, point up, outlined in red (like an inverted Yield sign) with a black X on it. If you’re driving here and see one, be careful, slow down, be ready to stop. Unless you’re on a real road and can see that nobody is coming, but officially do as I say. This is a great way to confuse someone from the UK, where, I’ll admit, there isn’t much call for priority to the right.

There’s more stuff, and I’ll try to list it in the future. There’s more stuff about the US that French people (and Brits*) find strange, too. I sort of make these things up during the preceding week, so I can’t promise exactly when, but keep coming back and you’ll see them in all good time.

* about 5.6 percent of the population of our Commune are from the UK, so I get exposed to British customs and language as a sort of side bonus.

Categories
Culture France Life

America the Odd

US as US Flag Image from Wikipedia

There are a few things that the last few months of living in Europe have made me feel about the US of A. Not that anything is bad, mind you. Different strokes for different folks and all that. But some things that seem normal in America seem odd to someone living abroad. How odd some things must seem to someone who has never been to, or lived in, The United States!

  • American Corporations: All incorporated enterprises exist to make money. That’s not unique to the US. What is unique is the apparent lack of any meaningful controls on corporate behavior. In contrast, what you hear referred to as “the nanny state” in the US seems like normal government regulation in Europe. At the same time, some government interference seen as normal in the US is lacking in France. Different people fear different aspects of modern life, obviously.
  • A Sense of the Primacy of Efficiency: In France, and in much of Europe (not the UK, hoo boy no!) efficiency sometimes takes a back seat to enjoying life. The way it’s put in France is that you “work to live,” whereas in America many people seem to “live to work.” There’s a big difference if you think about it. You think France has a problem due to inefficiency? The French economy is more efficient that the German economy, true story. Most productive in Europe, in fact. Maybe happy people work better? (Everyone gets 30 days of paid vacation per year. If they’re an employee, that is. People typically take August off. If it were me, I’d head for a vacation in Scandinavia, or up in one of the French mountain ranges. Who needs the heat, huh?)
  • Lines at the grocery store. They have them. There is self-checkout too, but it’s generally limited to smaller loads, such as you’d find in the handbasket, not a big old cart. But the lines move pretty quickly and are not nearly so irritating as similar lines in the US. Why? Small talk, or the lack of same. French people don’t engage in a lot of small talk. The reason I prefer self-checkout in the US is that it takes forever for the clerk to check out someone if they’re having a conversation about Mac and Cheese, or the weather, or whatever. French people occasionally indulge in a little small talk, especially in small towns, but normally, the clerk just scans the groceries as quickly as possible, the customer stuffs the order into their own bag, or as I normally do, into a cart and then bag it as I load the car, the customer pays, and that’s it! Bonjour!, load load, payé, and the end. Next customer.
  • Being Polite: I’ve written of this before, but as I observed on my first visit to France in 1976, you get a lot better service when you’re polite. This is true in America, too (try it and see!) Say hello, please, thank-you, acknowledge the clerk as a person, and something like “have a nice day” at the end. I think this goes back to what I call rule number one of human interaction: the way you see the world treating you is the way you’re treating the world!

There are more things I’m sure. Next time I’ll talk about a few things that still seem odd to me after living in France for a total of six months (three of them in 2021.) Oh, yeah, it’ll be seven months by then, almost. Ciao!

Categories
France language

MANNERS

This is Tyrion “Beagle Butt” le chien being mannerly

I’m putting this post near the top of the blog because it is important. There are people who say that French people are terribly impolite, which is categorically untrue. No one is as polite and helpful as a French person, unless, that is, you fail to be mannerly. In the middle of the 20th century I imagine that not many visitors to France had the same impression. American visitors, anyway. That is because we in America were also expected to be mannerly. To always say “hello,” “please,” “thank-you,” and “goodbye” even to store clerks and others we might consider to be “menials.” After all, our forebears went to some trouble to ditch nobility, which makes everybody deserving of respect, doesn’t it? Well, it does in France to this day.

More than once in Paris I have seen a clerk in an information booth repeat and repeat the word “bonjour!” The person, an American, takes that at a sign to start in with their questions. So, the person in the booth says, “bonjour!” again, and so on until somebody gives up.

The thing is, France is a different country, and has different expectations for behavior. I think it goes back to their revolution (in the same decade in which ours ended, of course, so an American should understand all this, if you think about it.) Having dispatched of a lot of nobility in a most nasty manner, the French were left with a dilemma. How to address one another? After the revolutionaries wore themselves out trying various schemes, it was decided by consensus to address all citizens as if they were nobles! So, you don’t just walk up to the local lord and say, “Hey, Dukey, how’s it hangin’?” No, you say something like “good day, my lord.” And the title for a man in French is “monsieur,” which used to mean “my lord.” The title for a woman is “madame,” which used to mean “my lady.” There is how you address, well, anyone. If the president of France wants to talk to a beggar on the street, he’ll first say, “bonjour” and wait for the greeting to be returned before proceeding. Seriously. Then it’s “S’il vous plait” for please (it means ‘if you please’) and Merci for “thank you.” Goodbye, formally, is “au revoir,” which literally means, “until we see each other again,” and you use it even on a pimple-faced kid selling hot dogs at a carnival, because that’s what you owe everybody: basic respect.

If you do those things outlined in the previous paragraph, I guarantee you that French people will prove to be most friendly and helpful. If you don’t, then you’ll get treated the way you’re treating others, which is always true, but more obvious in this case.

After the “bonjours” by the way, you can ask if they speak English. In tourist areas, it’s likely that a lot of people do. Failing that, I’d suggest a translation program on a smartphone. Heck, even Google Translate can be useful in a pinch. And, as I said in my previous post, try a little French, especially the polite words. People always appreciate your effort!

Categories
Social Commentary Writing

Étre Poli

Joan of Arc was polite to the French, but not the English. See what that gets you?

Apparently I never published the reasons why the French insist on politeness here. So, here they are.

France, like another country with which I am quite familiar, ditched a monarchy. It took the USA seven years. It took France a century. To be fair, the monarch lived in France, but across an ocean from the United States. Now that brought up a problem of personal address. With an established nobility (also still living in country) there were established ways to greet nobles. You wouldn’t just go up to a Compte (Count), slap him on the back and ask, “How’s it hangin’, old buddy?” And then the lower classes were designed and created by God (according to the nobility) for the nobility to ignore and walk all over. Suddenly, though, Lafayette, with some advice from Thomas Jefferson (told you that these two countries had similar beginnings) went to work on a “Delcaration of the Rights of Man and of the Citizen.” That document is a portion of the constitution of the Fifth Republic of France. It is not unlike the Bill of Rights, so I won’t go into what it grants, but I will point out that, with that document joining the official government papers, you couldn’t just ignore the peasantry any more. But, then how to address a former peasant?

The revolutionaries, much like the later Bolsheviks in Russia, invented all sorts of ridiculous answers to that question. Heck, “comrade” might even have been one of them, but those ideas died after the Reign of Terror. Along with thousands of humans, of course. But, probably during the reign of Napoleon Bonaparte, the following ideas were adopted.

To say hello, say bonjour. Bonjour is a compound word, a portmanteau it’s called, combining bon which is “good” and jour which is “day.” Because, when meeting a noble, you want to wish them a good day, of course.*

Consider the politics. Those nobles didn’t want to give up being addressed respectfully, and who could blame them? But if everyone is addressed as nobility, they won’t lose, and the peasantry gains. How much do the peasants gain? Well, consider that madame is made from the words ma, or feminine “my” and dame, or lady. When you call the store clerk madame you are calling her “My Lady.” Same with monsieur. Mon is the masculine “my” and sieur is an old way to say “lord” so you’re calling the guy fixing your car, or lunch or whatever, “My Lord.” That’s a big step up from invisibility, I’d say.

Of course, one also uses please and thank-you when addressing a noble, so now Si’l vous plait or S’il te plait are now used politely for everyone. Thank you is the relatively well-known, merci! And then, not to insult your noble, you end with something like “Thank you, see you next time!” Right? Well, Au revoir translates into “Until We See Each Other Again.” Et voila! There were tender alliances to be tended to in the government, the nobility would not accept demotion, but they did accept de jure promotion for everyone else. In other words, in France, everyone is nobility. Noble titles are strictly honorary, and that’s been true for a long time, but the fact remains that everyone in the country (including tourists) is to be treated like nobility. Well, in greeting and transacting business anyway, if not in privilege. Add that to the fact that French restaurant dining is a more relaxed, drawn-out affair, during which you must ask for the check (addition) when you’re ready to pay, Now, if you haven’t used all the proper greetings, etc, and you’re an impatient American diner, you think that the French are impolite, when in fact the opposite is true.

And that’s the truth!

* The way to wish someone a good day is now “bonne journée”. A journée was once a day trip, now it’s a day.

The title of this post means “Being Polite.”

Categories
France

Au Revoir

Where I’ve been living since April 12th

No, not in the old Fish & Chips shop. We hope to convert that to living space anyway. In the house, which is behind the other three doors you see on the building. The bit that sticks out at the far end is a sort of sunroom, with an outdoor patio on the roof. We have three toilets, two showers, one bathtub, a big back yard, and lots of flowers. Kind of nice, actually. At first it wasn’t so much, but it’s grown on me, kind of like, oh, I dunno, It gets into the blood, this French living.

The reason I’m writing is to summarize a bit my impressions of France as a place, as opposed to the idealized place many seem to love or hate.

Driving. In a rural area, such as 86400 Lizant, you need to drive quite a bit. No more than living in Las Vegas, though. I can be at a supermarket in eight minutes, which is better than is the case in many suburbs, and the roads are actually roads, not suburban nightmares of eight lanes or more. And, people know how to use roundabouts! The French have a reputation as being bad drivers, which is maybe earned, because in most things, they drive just like Americans. Yes, we’re all bad at it, and we all think we’re the best at it. Hah! Anyhow, they are better at yielding to pedestrians, bicycles and others, and better at maneuvering in tight spaces. Some of the spaces are pretty darned tight, so that’s not surprising. But in basic skill level, from staying in their lane to using signals, it’s just about the same sad story.

Food. French food is famous for being wonderful. Prior to the second world war, a “good” American restaurant would feature French recipes. Chef Boiardi (Boy-Ar-Dee) started changing all that, and now of course a good restaurant might serve almost any cuisine. Thing is, traditional French food really is good, but, as a long time Southwesterner, I think it needs some heat. I’ve had Mexican here that was bland. Seriously. But I’ve also had some excellent food, and I enjoy finding a place that serves a meal over time, as is traditional, so that each course has a chance to settle a bit, and one can have a conversation. The French say, by the way, that Americans are too loud in restaurants, and sometimes they’re right. But, a month ago I had dinner in a very nice restaurant in Paris, where two tables of French people took turns out-shouting each other. Yeah, those darned Americans, huh?

Attitudes. In France, nothing gets done yesterday. That’s not to say that the fire department will take its sweet time or anything. An emergency (urgence) is another matter entirely. But it can take a while to get a tradesman to show up at your place, and if they say “nine,” you’d do well to think “maybe ten.” That’s okay if you’re expecting it. It also means that you don’t have to press to be first in line all the time. You can take time to smell the fleur-des-lis, if you want to. There is something to be said for the idea that efficiency is not an end in and of itself. Still, if you want the American style of efficiency, you’ll be out of luck. Try not to let it make you suffer.

Manners. Everyone in France is polite. In most places, if you want someone to deal with you, even a store clerk, you’d better say hello. Or better yet, bonjour. That isn’t an optional thing in France. Also, you say please, thank you, and “until we meet again,” which is what au revoir means. You say that to some airport clerk you’re unlikely to see again if you live to be 150, but you must say it, because it’s polite. I may have posted before about the reasons for these necessities, but if not (I’ll check), I’ll do it next time. People who say that the French are impolite and unfriendly have not been polite in the first place. If you visit, say bonjour to everyone. Say it to a stray dog on the street. Say it to store clerks, vagabonds, gendarmes, old ladies, little kids, everyone. You cannot say it too often. Then remember please, thank you, and au revoir. If you know please and thank you in French, that’s bonus territory.

Overall. France is a place a lot like a lot of places. It’s a very diverse country, where there are entirely too many dialects of French spoken to make it easy on a learner. But that’s okay. They appreciate my French, even if I (probably) have a nasty accent. The people are friendly and helpful, unfailingly polite (except for one bitch lady neighbor to a b&b we stayed in North of Paris) and generally speaking the weather is nice, certainly much cooler than Vegas, where I’m heading to shortly. I’m looking forward to coming back to keep spiffing up the house, eating the pizza from the local bar, and drinking cheap good wine. One could do worse.