I’m putting this post near the top of the blog because it is important. There are people who say that French people are terribly impolite, which is categorically untrue. No one is as polite and helpful as a French person, unless, that is, you fail to be mannerly. In the middle of the 20th century I imagine that not many visitors to France had the same impression. American visitors, anyway. That is because we in America were also expected to be mannerly. To always say “hello,” “please,” “thank-you,” and “goodbye” even to store clerks and others we might consider to be “menials.” After all, our forebears went to some trouble to ditch nobility, which makes everybody deserving of respect, doesn’t it? Well, it does in France to this day.
More than once in Paris I have seen a clerk in an information booth repeat and repeat the word “bonjour!” The person, an American, takes that at a sign to start in with their questions. So, the person in the booth says, “bonjour!” again, and so on until somebody gives up.
The thing is, France is a different country, and has different expectations for behavior. I think it goes back to their revolution (in the same decade in which ours ended, of course, so an American should understand all this, if you think about it.) Having dispatched of a lot of nobility in a most nasty manner, the French were left with a dilemma. How to address one another? After the revolutionaries wore themselves out trying various schemes, it was decided by consensus to address all citizens as if they were nobles! So, you don’t just walk up to the local lord and say, “Hey, Dukey, how’s it hangin’?” No, you say something like “good day, my lord.” And the title for a man in French is “monsieur,” which used to mean “my lord.” The title for a woman is “madame,” which used to mean “my lady.” There is how you address, well, anyone. If the president of France wants to talk to a beggar on the street, he’ll first say, “bonjour” and wait for the greeting to be returned before proceeding. Seriously. Then it’s “S’il vous plait” for please (it means ‘if you please’) and Merci for “thank you.” Goodbye, formally, is “au revoir,” which literally means, “until we see each other again,” and you use it even on a pimple-faced kid selling hot dogs at a carnival, because that’s what you owe everybody: basic respect.
If you do those things outlined in the previous paragraph, I guarantee you that French people will prove to be most friendly and helpful. If you don’t, then you’ll get treated the way you’re treating others, which is always true, but more obvious in this case.
After the “bonjours” by the way, you can ask if they speak English. In tourist areas, it’s likely that a lot of people do. Failing that, I’d suggest a translation program on a smartphone. Heck, even Google Translate can be useful in a pinch. And, as I said in my previous post, try a little French, especially the polite words. People always appreciate your effort!
