Some French Weirdness

The Sun King Lives on in the Gates of Versailles (2019 photo)

I visited France a lot before I moved here. Probably about five months of total visitation over the years. We wanted to have access to Europe the way we can access the U.S. in the U.S., and European residence gives you that. My French visa will let me muck about in the entire EU plus several other countries that have signed the “Open Borders” treaty. Open Borders!?! Egads! Down, boy, that’s only between member states. You know, states, such as Alabama and Montana. States of the (European) union. To enter Europe, you must pass some border guards. It was pretty easy with a visa, but I sill had to present myself to them. Then I paid my 200 Euro “welcome to France” tax, and I’m allowed to live here. Poof!

I mention the visitations because I was familiar with a lot of French peculiarities before I moved in. But not all of them. #1, although I was warned repeatedly, is the bureaucracy. You maybe think California is difficult? Amateurs! Here is part of a form one must submit to customs in duplicate in order to import ones’ household goods:

Of course, it is in French. Sort of have to expect that. But the type is very small, and, of all things, green! And this one is simple. There is a seventeen-page form to fill out if you want to remodel your living room. (For the permit, which, again, involves tax assessment of course, same as in the U.S.) We bought a defunct fish and chips shop that is under our bedroom, and we’re converting it to living space. So far, we have the forms (not yet filled out) for altering the facade, which we got from the Mairie (Mayor’s Office.) The interior conversion will require another set down at the Prefecture (sort of a County Administration facility.) We’re probably going to hire a French company to do the work, and they’ll do the forms for us. Yay them!

But that’s not all, folks! You pack your own groceries in Europe (not just France.) They charge for bags — 20 centimes (cents) for a paper bag, up to 2 Euros for a sturdy burlap job. After paying 2 Euros for a shopping bag, I have a tendency to forget to take one in with me when I get groceries. This is a real pain, unless I have a small enough load to carry out without a bag, or I want to shell out an extra 20 cents for a paper bag. Of course, most stores are fine with you walking out the door with your groceries in the cart, as you probably have a coin on deposit in the handle of said cart. The only way to get that coin back is to return it to the cart corral. You plug it into the line, and your coin pops out. Only one store in the area doesn’t use that plan. But they still let you carry your groceries out in their cart, and I’ve never seen anyone fail to return the cart to the corral anyway. Conditioning, I guess.

I’m going to have to take driving school, as Nevada and France have no reciprocity. If I’d stayed in Ohio, I’d be golden. Oh, well. When that adventure starts, I’ll post about it. And other stuff, too. Just keep watching this space for whatever weirdness it occurs to me to report! 🙂