When I was attending Bowling Green State University, I kept a sort of journal off and on for the entire time. In fact, for some years after. So far in my life, I’ve stopped doing that. Maybe for the same reason that on my first trip to Paris, I didn’t take a camera. I made a couple of drawings of some of the decor on Notre Dame, though. That butterfly picture is not trying to make a statement, by the way. I just like it. I choose pictures that sort of go with the theme of my post, but that’s as far as it goes.
This is not an in-depth, heart-soothing account of a life of someone who has seen the light. I don’t know if I ever have. I don’t know if I ever want to. I’ve heard that you see the light as you’re dying, and I’m in no hurry. Not that it matters when it’s time, but still. This post is actually about regrets.
It is true, and I’m not the only one to have written the following, that I don’t regret anything I honestly tried to do but failed at, but I do regret things I didn’t try, or didn’t give an honest effort to. Hey, I coulda been a contender, right? For what, I don’t know, but still, hey! If you read this blog, you have no doubt noticed in the past six months or so that most of my posts have been repostings from Odd Godfrey. I’ve been vicariously circumnavigating the planet with them for about six and a half years as of now. I actually met them for the first time at their bon voyage party in San Diego, quite a few moons ago, but I’ve also visited with them every time they’ve been back in Vegas for a short visit. Their boat, named Sonrisa, says “Las Vegas, Nevada” under her name. (They use “her” so don’t talk to me about that issue.) Why this long bit about them? Because, when I was nineteen, I had a chance to try out for a summer job at Cedar Point, Ohio (headquarters of Cedar Fair, the amusement park company.) They had, and probably still do, musical acts preceding some of their shows, such as the first IMAX theater I ever saw.* I chose instead to spend my summer counting parts in an IBM warehouse in Boca Raton, Florida. I had a good summer, but I always wonder what would have happened to my life if I’d gotten a job at Cedar Point as a musician. I love making music, always have. I genuinely regret not giving it a try. Yeah, might’ve flopped, might’ve died by choking on a ham sandwich, maybe lots of stuff, but I should have tried it.
I also wanted to be a writer. My first wife, who to be honest would have been financing the effort, said no way, so I gave up on the idea. Could I have done that anyway, along with a series of jobs for which I was temperamentally unsuited? Maybe. Or at least at the same time as, but I chose to be conventional. Trust me, if you have any creative urges, give up on the idea of being conventional; it’s not worth it, and besides, you don’t really want to be, do you? Well, I write now, but so far nobody’s paying me for what I turn out. That will change, and luckily, my multiple attempts at a normal career (some of which were actually okay) have left me with some pension. Not a huge one, but enough to finance living in France, which I’ll be doing (I don’t say no to adventures anymore.) So, I’m a writer. Also, I have a YouTube channel for my music (nothing uploaded yet) so I’ll be doing a musician bit even though I’m, as my son points out, older than dirt. **
Here I am at 73 years old, starting a new life. Well, why not? I stretch and exercise regularly, so I don’t really suffer a lot of aches and pains. I do crosswords and play other mind games to keep sharp. And, though I’m slow, I still can run, and I’m still about as strong as I ever was. Yeah, that strong. Hulk has nothing to fear from me! Next post I’ll talk about why France, and what I’m planning to do next. (I hope to have some music uploaded shortly.)
Later!
*The first film was about The Grand Canyon, and quite impressive, if devoid of any plot.
**Things were just so nice and clean before dirt!
